Murders motivated by romantic relationships have seen a surge in recent times. While some are quick to judge the nature of the relationship, others blame the people involved. Common factors that come to light with every such murder are a controlling mindset, a strong patriarchal setup, substance abuse, financial issues, suspected infidelity, etc.

After the gruesome murders of Shraddha Walker in Delhi, Shipra Jharia in MP, Krutika Baranda in Gujarat, Anitha in AP, Rukhsar in UP, and more have ignited the conversation around red flags that people should look out for in relationships, but we are still ignoring the generations-long culture of domestic abuse. The cases that go unheard, unreported and more dangerously normalised. 

According to National Family Health Survey (NFHS), approximately 30 per cent of women between the age of 18 and 49 years have had to face such abuse. PSRI Hospital Senior Consultant Psychiatrist Paramjeet Singh, told IANS, “In my clinical practice, domestic abuse is seen in 3-4 couples per week.”

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“Having or being in a relationship where there is infidelity, financial concerns, concerns which happened at the level of the larger family or an individual that you are with could have temperament or personality issues,” said Kamna Chibber, Head of Department, Mental Health and Behavioural Sciences, Fortis Memorial Research Institute, Gurugram.

Singh points out that in most of these cases the victims chose to keep quiet submitting to the social norms, financial and emotional dependency, poor support from paternal family, and more. 

Jaya Sukul, Clinical Psychologist, Marengo QRG Hospital, Faridabad, said that the form and degree of abuse changes but doesn’t entirely stop in most cases. It could vary from person to person. The abuser needs to work actively and have the willingness and motivation to get rid of one’s abusive behaviour.

“Do not allow yourself to believe that this is something which will change on its own, that maybe this was just a one-off if you see that there is a pattern emerging. Don’t ignore that pattern. If your partner is not someone who is willing to work on his bad side, seek support for your own self,” Chibber said.

(With inputs from IANS)